7 Amazing Ways To Change Your LifeNov 08, 2020
Each week, I will be discussing new, powerful and proven tools and strategies to change your life. There are many and we are first going to get acquainted with the really important ones to reframe the way you think and feel about following through with the decision to change for the good.
Change is hard, but always worth the effort and the initial discomfort. Once you get started and get past the fear of not knowing what’s ahead, the process of change becomes contagious. The positive results you get, sometimes two steps forward and one step back, are very seductive. You feel good about yourself, your momentum and feel you are moving forward. As we discussed earlier, change is also necessary to getting to where you want and need to go. If nothing changes, then nothing changes and this is simply a non-starter.
We are all “wired” differently, and our emotional and mental DNA is unique. It is important to recognize that one size never fits all. Knowing yourself and your unique ways of processing your life experience is important, as we all experience our world differently – even though there is a remarkable degree of similarity. But, know your uniqueness so that you can best apply the keys of change to your particular needs and way of doing things. There are many ways and solutions to get to the same place of serenity, peace-of-mind and enduring happiness and growth, so keep an open, ready and willing mind! There are several fundamental & essential ingredients you must begin to focus on and this section will help prepare you to take a positive attitude and keeping an open and non-judgmental mind to looking at yourself and the many tools and strategies available to you to best change your life for the better.
The Power of Change
While away on my incarceration journey, I was blessed to teach a number of Adult Education Courses in addition to G.E.D. High School Equivalency. One of my motivational/inspirational favorites was called “The Power of Change.” Little did I know I would end up writing this book, but I suppose that was my fate and path, and I was just beginning to explore how to best communicate this program of actually changing one self. It was a fun course to teach and I learned a great deal as a teacher, as I was also a willing student who got to share with hundreds of other inmates who were on a similar journey in their own lives.
One of the many things I learned was that people change at different speeds and there are so many ways to get to real and lasting change in one’s life. What I discovered was for the more profound changes to occur, pain was often the touchstone of significant change and motivation as was the presence and belief in a power greater than oneself. We call this “power” many things, but I refer to “him” as God, Creative Intelligence, Divine Energy, the Universal Creator of all things. Aka, the, the man upstairs, King of the hill and other displays of affection and absolute respect and reverence for anyone except yourself.
The other component that is necessary is willingness and motivation. And, naturally, the thing that brings change into reality for all of us is trust in others; trust and faith in the process that changing actually might work, and not judging the results before experiencing it for oneself. Change becomes real when we acknowledge and accept it as part of our new reality. It’s an expansion of energy, perspective, knowledge, understanding and, of course, evolution and growth of consciousness.
The impact of change varies depending on the goal and expectations, but success, while real, is often incremental. There is no fixed timetable to change. It can happen immediately like in an “aha” moment, or it can take a lifetime or two! We can seek to change a behavior (usually a bad and inadequate one), an attitude, a belief or a way of thinking. Change is often iterative, incremental and not like a flash of intense lightning that produces miraculous and complete change and increased awareness. For most of us, change occurs as needed and wanted. It can be painless or painful, but it is usually permanent – although it can be experienced as two steps forward and one step back with a lot of frustration. But, it is about progress and not perfection and we are not being the speed of change. Remember, change is best experienced at a comfortable pace and is never a race – as there really is no destination except for “better” than before.
The power of change is real and can be incredibly wonderful and life-changing as it has been for me. It always involves risk and taking a chance. But, if you believe as I do, all change is for our own good and for our ultimate benefit.
Change is an Inside Job
Nobody can make you change but you. You hold the power and keys to massive and positive change in your own life. If you truly want to transform your current life into an amazing, new and happier life, you have to do the work. Nobody else can do this for you. The tools are all here. But the effort must be yours and yours alone. There is much help available to you along the way. But, the most important and worthwhile journeys in life are done alone with you and for your benefit. You may not feel this now or thought I’m out of order for saying this. But, I can tell you that I have done the dance of life alone, with my own will – often unconsciously – but with profound effect. It is not always clear to us why we are where we are in life, but it always for your own good and for the very best. This I believe with all my heart and soul and it has become one of my own greatest truths. With enough honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness, there is nothing YOU can’t do and you will be on the ride of your life as you do so. Nobody can make you change. But, you have the all the power you will ever need. I am going to help you to access this power. Are you ready yet?
Speed Up And Slow Down!!
One major caution, however. And, that is we all change at different speeds. Some are quick to change, others take more time. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel you are falling behind. You are not! Just ask for help and be patient with yourself. If you have sufficient willingness and honesty, you will get there in due time! Again, we are not in a race, but just trying to keep a steady pace.
Time For A Major Attitude Adjustment
In my opinion and from direct experience, the key to opening up the door to change is drastically changing your attitude. Attitude is everything or at least the first step to change. When you decide that nothing is going to change, it won’t. Taking a different and positive attitude (which we will discuss at greater length later in this book) is the first and foremost step to real and lasting change.
Once you start to get out of your perennial state of self-doubt and self-inflicted inertia, you must begin to focus on being hopeful, courageous and willing to do whatever it takes to make the difficult changes in your life. Change is both necessary and an unfolding process. Once you’ve made the decision to suspend your negative beliefs and learn how to become more positive, you will begin to create a different and new experience for yourself AND for those around you.
Positivity is contagious and comes back to you in tremendous ways with real and permanent benefits, as long as you focus on keeping your positive attitude in front of you!.
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% what we do about it. That being the case, the big difference between 10% and 90% is ATTITUDE!
We have already looked at how dishonesty can be a huge roadblock to change. So, focusing on being brutually honest with yourself and others can be the very key that opens the lock to seeing your life for what it really is and listening and learning from others what you need to do to make an unhappy, unfulfilled life into one that is happy, productive, meaningful and transformative.
Understanding the importance of honesty and taking daily inventory of your own acts of dishonesty – whether in your intentions, beliefs, attitudes, actions and behavior – was the way you learned how to get honest. Pain was also another profound motivator as was an interest not to harm either myself or others anymore. Learning how to be honest has reaped huge rewards in my own personal transformation, and has provided me with so many positive and life-changing rewards. So, as hard as this may be for you, and as deeply unconscious you may be of your own dishonesty, changing your attitude and keeping an open-mind can make a huge difference. Getting honest is a process, but you have to want it. With steady progress and taking your own honesty inventory, you will see the rewards of having good, sustainable relationships, respect, integrity and a host of other positive character traits will lead to better self-esteem and get far better results to a happier and more meaningful life in the future. Be patient with yourself, and don’t forget to give yourself a break when you fall into moments of dishonesty. Just keep correcting yourself and the new habit will be formed. I once heard, “divorce your old story and marry the truth.”
Whether you believe it or not, keeping an open mind that things can change for the better, despite your own failed attempts to do so, can and will make the difference in allowing change to happen in your life. Having a closed mind limits your ability to grow and change.You are your own worst enemy – as Archie Bunker refused to acknowledge in the sitcom, “All In The Family.” A stubborn and close-mind kept him in ignorance and denial. What do you really have to lose? Some of us refer to negative self-talk and thinking fraught with resentment, anger, and self-pity as “stinkin thinkin.” Defending yourself with a closed-mind comes from thinking that you are always right, or perhaps it’s a defense mechanism for keeping people out. Some people are very change resistant as that takes work and involves risk. Close-mindedness rears its ugly head from Pride and EGO and is guaranteed to disappoint you in the long run. Yes, in the short-run it will keep you insulated from “outside” forces and will also steal your opportunity for happiness and positive change. So, suspend your stubborn beliefs for the next 24 hours and keep an open mind. Just take the leap of faith that I just might be right. I will happily refund your misery if after persistent practice of living on purpose fails to show meaningful results.
Unlike animals, only man is born with free-will. Many of us allow our wills to exceed their normal functions. The result is that we become willful, pushy, stubborn, aggressive, grandiose, overpowering and even obnoxious. The proper use of our free will – which is a gift from our higher power, is that we have the unique ability to choose. Choice is a freedom and an obligation. Used correctly, our willingness to try new things, experience the unknown, stretch our imagination and expose ourselves to potential positive and powerful change requires a belief that we can succeed to be happy, joyous and free and to live our full potential as human beings. We have to want something badly enough to be willing to take the necessary attitude and actions to achieve that which we set out to do. Willingness, like other positive character assets, is an essential component to winning in life. Next week, we will explore another 7 tools and strategies that have worked for me in transforming my life. You can always contact me to explore your own needs and issues at https://www.lifecoach911.com or post your comments on this blog for us to explore further.
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